Respect is one of my core values. It doesn’t matter if we are talking about respect from my children, my family, a total stranger, someone I’m dating, or my team. If I am disrespected, or feel that I’m not being respected I will have an emotional response. Before I understood what it meant to be a great leader, it was something I really struggled with because my emotional response often impacted whom ever it was around me. However, now I know that when they violate my core values, most of the time it is because their core values also have been violated. This helps me to remove my judgment and look at the situation a lot more clearly and with a level head.
Respect can mean different things for different people, and for me it’s mostly about attitude.
If you are rude, short, angry, or not present those are all things I would consider part of an attitude. Most of the time when an employee is rude or has attitude it is a response to something they don’t understand that has a direct impact on them. Knowing your part as the leader is imperative to resolving their challenges.
It’s normal and perfectly ok for someone to be upset or frustrated by any number of things… when it presents a problem is when they get into a habit of thinking they can be disrespectful toward you about those things.
Teaching them how to treat you through things that are frustrating is the key to eliminating bad behavior/attitude and keeping the lines of communication open.
When your employees understand your culture and you do whatever you can not to deviate from creating that culture you teach them what works and what doesn’t work. I find that in most cultures employees are not allowed to be honest and be “frustrated”. Leaders within organizations do not understand how to create a space where they can be open and honest with their team and vice versa without violating core values. This is a trust and communication challenge. Emotional intelligence is the key to understanding and alleviating those challenges.
Do you respect yourself?
The more self-awareness you have the greater your understanding of other people and your emotional intelligence will develop. Your team is a reflection of you… if you don’t respect yourself your team will have little respect for you. If you don’t know what your core values are… you will have a hard time knowing when they have been violated and go into a space of being a victim very very easily. Do you have a plan in place to work on yourself? How are you growing? Join me on my monthly leadership discussion to identify this and many other challenges that leaders just like you face.