Empowerment and Authenticity: Loud & Proud
As a leader I wasn’t always authentic and I wasn’t always empowered. I was hiding from who I was and where I had come from. I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. I can remember a time when I would walk into work and not make eye contact with my employees. Not everyday but somedays and it had nothing to do with them.
I didn’t dislike them, and I didn’t intentionally mean to be what they presumed as “bitchy” on occasion.. I just wasn’t sure who I was or how a leader would BE with their people. I hadn’t done any work on myself at this point, read any books on leadership, or have any idea that it was ok to be me.
Do you know who you are? I Didn’t
However I didn’t really know who ME was and looking back it showed. This spilled over into my personal life too. I wasn’t a leader in love, life, or business. I was hiding. I was hiding inside of 100lbs of fat, insecurity, know it all attitude, and an insatiable need to be right.
I can look back knowing that all of the stuff that I was hiding beneath wasn’t intentional. I didn’t mean to railroad people or interrupt them constantly. I was just asleep. I needed to accept myself as I was and begin to investigate what had helped shape me. I clearly had drive, but I was a victim, I had passion but no purpose. Creating an awareness around these things helped me to notice who I was and who I wanted to become.
I started to create the woman I am today.
I was able to stop the behavior that was causing the pain and start with a mindset that would shape the woman I am today. Today I embrace my vulnerability. Today I embrace my attitude and personality… even when it happens to be a little shitty. Today I work hard to stop the voices that ran the show for so long… I am more present than I have ever been, I have more on my plate than I have ever had, and I am ROCKING THAT SHIT!