Empowerment & Authenticity

Empowerment and Authenticity: Loud & Proud

As a leader I wasn’t always authentic and I wasn’t always empowered. I was hiding from who I was and where I had come from. I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. I can remember a time when I would walk into work and not make eye contact with my employees. Not everyday but somedays and it had nothing to do with them.

I didn’t dislike them, and I didn’t intentionally mean to be what they presumed as “bitchy” on occasion.. I just wasn’t sure who I was or how a leader would BE with their people. I hadn’t done any work on myself at this point, read any books on leadership, or have any idea that it was ok to be me.

Do you know who you are? I Didn’t

However I didn’t really know who ME was and looking back it showed. This spilled over into my personal life too. I wasn’t a leader in love, life, or business. I was hiding. I was hiding inside of 100lbs of fat, insecurity, know it all attitude, and an insatiable need to be right.

I can look back knowing that all of the stuff that I was hiding beneath wasn’t intentional. I didn’t mean to railroad people or interrupt them constantly. I was just asleep. I needed to accept myself as I was and begin to investigate what had helped shape me. I clearly had drive, but I was a victim, I had passion but no purpose. Creating an awareness around these things helped me to notice who I was and who I wanted to become.

I started to create the woman I am today.

I was able to stop the behavior that was causing the pain and start with a mindset that would shape the woman I am today. Today I embrace my vulnerability. Today I embrace my attitude and personality… even when it happens to be a little shitty. Today I work hard to stop the voices that ran the show for so long… I am more present than I have ever been, I have more on my plate than I have ever had, and I am ROCKING THAT SHIT!

What does it mean to be empowered? What does it mean to be loud and proud? How can you apply these things to your real estate business right now? As you grow your team the more you work on yourself the more you will attract and retain the people who will love you… AND want to walk over hot coals to the end of the earth and back when you ask them… that is the definition of loyalty. We all want loyal employees, and we have to invest in them in a meaningful way. People are like emotional bank accounts… you cannot make a withdrawal if you have not made enough deposits!
You are no exception to that… you have to be the example. Invest in yourself. Treat yourself with respect. Empower yourself to create the woman and the business that is sooo important to you to create! Start Today!
xxoxoxox
Em
P. S. Have you joined the conversation in my Free Facebook Group for Female Real Estate Agents just like you? Click the link and come be part of a community of women who are working hard to grow a real estate team of people who are passionate and LOVE what they do just as much as you do!

Have you reached the moon?

Sometimes we don’t know why things happen, why people come and go, or why we feel the way we feel. It is challenging to wrap our heads and hearts around it. You’ve got to believe that in the moments when you feel you are at your absolute lowest, and you’re being kicked while you are down… It is all happening for a reason.

Believe it!

That is the most challenging time to really believe, that is most challenging time to rally yourself to see something bigger, and know there is a purpose. That is when you must ask for support. Find someone in your life that does not enable you to stay where you are, they encourage you to push yourself and really really reach out side of your own narrow perspective and see there might be something on the other side of the pain, fear, and heartache.

Be it a job, lover, friend, or person that you are having these feelings about you need someone to pull you out of your own spiraling thoughts that are dragging you farther away from feeling good and closer to curling up on the floor in the fetal position. You need someone to listen, love, and support you. You need someone who doesn’t agree that you are a victim. You need someone to say… what part of this do you own? You need someone to ask.. how this is benefiting you?

Take responsibility & utilize your resources!

You may not want to hear what that person has to say, but you need to listen. I have several of those people in my life. I keep them close to me so I can pull myself up from a potentially hazardous thought or from back sliding so far that it’s tough to recover quickly. Identify who those people are, what their value is to you in your life, and how you can really, really, really capitalize on their gifts when you are in a space like this.

If you don’t have someone like this in your life… you are probably WRONG! They are there you are just not tapping into your resources. If you really don’t have one…FIND ONE, or a few. Hire one! Offer to trade for one. Whatever you do, get one. They are imperative to your growth, your development, and your mental health. They will help you find peace inside yourself and ultimately step into your ideal life.

I am one of those people. I am here to help shift thought processes and old belief systems. I am here to support you and kick your ass! If you are at the top of your food chain and you don’t have anyone who is mentoring you, guiding you, or giving you things to think about in regard to your life, I’ve got news for you… You have stopped growing and that doesn’t mean you “made it”. It means you have put yourself and your life on pause. Sure you are going keep doing the things in life that you do every day. Time doesn’t stop, but if you aren’t getting better you just might be getting worse.

Athletes don’t STOP training & neither should you!

What happens to an athlete when they stop practicing? Do they lose what they have learned? No, not necessarily. But what does happen is that after a period of time, they are no longer able to play the way they once did, they are not as agile, and they haven’t learned new ways of attacking the game the way other athletes who are practicing every single day can. In the game of life, personal growth and development is practice. It helps you become more agile, faster, smarter, stronger so that when you get thrown a curve ball you know what to do, and how to handle it. You look for solutions and fetal position is a mere thought for a split second, rather than a three day way of life.

So if you are after the MOON, don’t just look at it! GO GET IT!

No matter what your goals are it is time to stop letting yourself down and get started moving in the right direction. One step after another, just take the steps you need to get a little farther ahead than you were the day before. :) It’s not about eating the entire elephant it’s about eating one bite at a time, not stopping and forgetting what it is that you want and what your goal ultimately is at the end of the day.

Empowerment was the KEY to Unlocking ME!

Empowerment, what is it? What does it mean? Well dictionary.com says Empowerment is a verb and that it means…

  1. to give power or authority to; authorize, especially by legal or official means:

I empowered my agent to make the deal for me. The local ordinance empowers the board of health to close unsanitary restaurants.

  1. to enable or permit:

Wealth empowered him to live a comfortable life.

 Victim Mode

I used to live my life as a victim feeling like I wasn’t in control of what was happening to me in my life. I made a lot of excuses around the way I was, the way I spoke and the way I behaved toward others. I am going to be completely honest, and tell you that I was quite a bitch. Now, not everyone thought I was a bitch, my kids loved me, my husband, and my family didn’t even think about it like that. I only know because I can look back on my life before I started to do the work and realize what I was and how I treated those around me. It is not something I am proud of, however I am grateful for the point of reflection because I truly love who I am today.

 Empowerment was the KEY to unlocking ME!

Empowerment was the key to unlocking me. I looked at nine areas of my life and I began to identify what wasn’t working and empower myself to create what was in each area.

 

What is the first step toward empowerment?

  1. Taking responsibility.

This was the hardest part of the journey and for me the most painful. It’s starting. Peeling back the layers and getting to the root of what was causing the insatiable need to be right, the know it all attitude, and the constant interrupting. I can remember feeling so awful at times when going through this process. My past wanted me to be defensive and make excuses. Yet when I stopped being the victim and making excuses for why things weren’t working or what wasn’t going to go right, I actually got some relief and I felt much better. Look at yourself, listen to what people say, and begin to accept it. I am all about patting yourself on the back and being the cheerleader, but if you want to grow you’ve got to strip yourself down and build a strong foundation under there. If you’re finding you identify with any of these things, you probably need to step outside of yourself and take a look. Sometimes the things that sting are the things that we need to take the closest look at.