Where does your motivation come from? 

This week’s perspective comes from Michelle in Michigan. Michelle asked….
“I feel tired and beat down. In my business, my life, my relationships… everything. How do I find the motivation to keep going? Where can I find the motivation to do the things that I really really really don’t want to do?” ​​​​​​​

This is a great question/perspective to start digging into and Michelle you are not alone my dear. This is a question I hear from a lot of people in my community. Life throws us all kinds of crazy curve balls and especially as a business owner or someone who is leading others it often feels lonely… like you’re on an island all by yourself.
The truth is that this struggle is happening in our mind… your body might be physically tired, but the exhaustion comes from the dance that happens inside of our thoughts and beliefs.
The behavior or lack there of is directly attached to the belief system and creates feelings of lack… hence no motivation to move forward. There are three things that will support you if this is something you are up against.
  1. Acceptance. Don’t resist being or feeling tired. This might be your body’s way of telling you that you need to recharge. There are times when I have clearly been rowing up stream and didn’t even realize it until my arms literally could not paddle anymore. I had to stop resisting… throw the oars out of the boat and allow myself to go with the flow of my life instead of trying to control every damn thing! And it’s ok to rest. I have to be reminded on a consistent basis that “PACE” is important and that it is necessary to rest.
  2. Honesty.  Take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself if what you are “overwhelmed” by is really that overwhelming or if you are making it up that it has to be that way. So many times in my life the things that were “burning me out” were things I did have control over. For example, I was saying yes to things out of guilt, shame, or obligation rather than just trusting myself and saying no and not worrying about what everyone would think of me.
  3. End Goal.  Evaluate what the purpose or destination point for you and your business looks like. When I revisit my goals and my purpose I am often reminded where I am headed and how I can get back on track if I am in fact off course. I get clear about where I need to invest my time and energy and focus on the things that will support moving toward that end goal or destination. If you don’t know where you are going things will be very fuzzy along the way and it will be easy to get overwhelmed and stay stuck.

When I am feeling a lack of motivation it is generally because of one of these three things… I am resisting… I am not being honest with myself… or I am unclear as to where I am headed. Fix these things… and you should feel your motivation and drive start to recover and improve. If you need help with these things let’s hop on a call and drill them out. Here is a link to my online scheduler. Book a call with me by clicking this link. Book a call with Emily




Love you all so much!

How limited belief systems and old patterns keep you stuck.

This week’s perspective comes from my past. As many of you know there was a time when I live a great deal of my life as a victim. I wanted the people around me to change so I could feel better about who I was. I found myself saying things like…
“I need you to stop doing that (whatever that might have been) to me!” I wanted the people around me to change. I wanted them to be different. I was not comfortable with the way they were treating me and handling me. I wanted them to be “nice” and “kind” to me so I didn’t have to be uncomfortable… So the question would come out like this…
“How do I get them to stop treating me so badly?”
This is a great question/perspective to start doing some expansion around. This is one I hear from a lot of people in my community. When you need others to be different to make you feel better, or more comfortable… you are giving up all your personal power to them, a situation, and a single point of view.
The truth is that you are in control of how you respond to people, situations, and scenarios. It is your limiting belief system that you subscribe to that tells you “they” have to change to feel better.

The behavior and belief system creates a lot of challenges in your life… doesn’t it? It certainly did in mine.

Let me tell you as long as you subscribe to that belief system you have given yourself a life sentence of pain and misery for as long as you decide to have that specific perspective. You are giving up all of your personal power to people and scenarios and they are now in charge of you and how you respond to things.
Wouldn’t you like to be in charge of having a good or a bad day… instead of giving that up to the people around you? Wouldn’t it be great if you were in charge of how caught up you got in “their” perspective? The good and bad news is that you are… it’s just that you might not have realized it up to this point.
Let me give you an example. I was traveling one time and I parked my car in a place where it ended up getting towed. I did not do this on purpose of course… I had no idea that would happen. However, the way I responded to my car getting towed was with a freak out session about how much it sucked and how much money it was going to cost me… all kinds of whining and complaining. The person with me simply said… “Does all of that help solve your problem?” 
It stopped me dead in my tracks… I realized that I was responding with old patterns and programming that was handed down to me from my family. That was how my mother responded to “bad” things happening to her. I recognized in that moment that there was more than one way to respond to a situation. I didn’t have to plug into the upset and I could handle the emotions I had around it very differently.
So let this give you some new perspective and look at how you are responding and reacting to things… you might just decide that you can respond to things with a gentle, calm, and more appropriate manner. It feels wonderful to be in charge of that! NO MORE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER!
Love you all so much!
Cheers to being the best version of you that you can be!

Blue Print to Building a Successful Real Estate Team

The 5 Keys to Unlocking Your Potential So You Can Build Your Empire!


Authenticity. What is authenticity? It’s about being real and genuine, not false or copied. However, in this world we live in where we consistently take on the characteristics of others, and where we work so hard to be in touch with what’s going on around us that we forget to examine what is important to us and who we are from within it can be challenging to know who we are authentically.
So… How can you get it? How do you know who YOU really are? I think it begins by asking questions. You’ve got to get real honest with yourself about what you are in different environments before you know WHO you are… For example,
  • Who am I with my family?
  • Who am I with these friends?
  • Who am I at work in my real estate biz?
  • At the gym?
  • At church?
  • With my best girlfriends?

Sure you’re you, but I’m guessing that each of those environments brings a new and different level of internal acceptance. You feel differently at home than you do at work. You’re accepted for who you are even in your darkest moment. When you begin to identify the things about yourself that give you a great feeling of acceptance rather than judgment that’s when you know you’re being authentic. You can also begin to use your authenticity with intention and that’s powerful.

Authenticity and transparency are two of the most important things in creating and building a successful team, business, and life. If you don’t know who you are and you’re not willing to share where you’ve been it’s hard for people to connect with you on a deeper level. When you’re hiding parts of yourself it’s a challenge to be present and really listen. I’m not suggesting you’re intentionally hiding. It’s just that we don’t live in a space that’s overly accepting of authenticity. We are taught not to be vulnerable, especially not in a public space.
And if you don’t know who you are, you will always be clinging to the latest and greatest business trend that you think makes sense rather than from your core values. From who you are. Sure those things help shape us and it’s part of the evolution process but you are who you are at the core and if you’ve covered it up you’ve got to begin uncovering yourself. This also means knowing your strengths and how to use them in a way you may have never used them before. It means setting aside time to constantly evaluate that. It means acquiring a team around you that has strengths you don’t have. It means knowing why you do what you do and who you are around that. I created a guide that will walk you through identifying the culture you want in your business and the way to attract the best team… you can download the free guide here.. Get The Guide


What is influence? The capacity to be compelling in such a way that specific results are produced. I believe that this skill combined with authenticity and transparency can change your life, the lives of others, and the world!
If you cannot influence people or gain their buy in you will struggle to build, grow, and develop anything… Especially your real estate business. This means meeting people from where they are not expecting them to meet you where you are. Leadership is walking back down the mountain you’ve already climbed to encourage, inspire, and motivate. But you first have to know why you do what you do. You have to understand your passion at a level so deep that you’re not willing to compromise. Then you’ve got to be willing to share that vision with those who you want to influence to DO something for you, or with you. This is a skill set. It’s a learned skill just as much as communication. In fact communication is a big part of this process, and the better you can communicate with someone the easier it will be to gain their buy in and support.


What is action? It’s to DO something. Setting goals and having an action plan seems so elementary to a lot of people but it’s imperative that you are focused and disciplined with your time and energy. If you don’t have a plan to follow and execute you’re not going to get nearly as much accomplished as if you have a constant focus on what you need to get done. A friend of mine shared this with me and I really like it. Have an OHIO day. O-only H-handle I-it O-once. Have a day like this each week. It gives you time to clear the clutter that often holds us back or keeps us from being productive. When you pick something up stay with it until its completed.
When I became a certified ONE Thing Trainer I learned the importance of FOCUS and how when we line up our smaller tasks strategically like dominos they begin to build momentum and we can tackle even larger things. Success is sequential not simultaneous. As a female real estate agent growing a team you have to STOP PINGING around! You are in action a lot of the time, but you are not getting the things that you want to get done at the end of the day! How many times do you walk away from your business at the end of the day, wondering what the hell you accomplished or completed?
That is normal for someone like you, but it is the thing that keeps you from being UBER productive and teaching your team how to be UBER productive! You’ve got to focus lady. That comes with practice… every day you need to focus on your highest value task and work at it until you can see some progress. Stop putting that off. If you want to get even more done… get my Get SHIT Done (GSD) Productivity System


What is innovation? A new method, idea, or product. In real estate it’s about incorporating systems! You cannot keep doing the same thing over and over and over again and expect a different result. You’ve got to be willing to try new things and step outside your comfort zone at every level of growth. Be a Constant learner. Never stop growing, and sharpening your blade. If you didn’t catch my Facebook live on sharpening your blade check it out here… Sharpen Your Blade
Gathering new tools and techniques for how to improve is imperative. Reading, listening, watching, observing… There are so many ways to gain new information.  It’s important you know how you like to learn and then commit to it and be disciplined enough to keep doing it. Make it a consistent part of your routine. Read for 30 min/day, watch a training video, listen to an audio…. BUT DO SOMETHING! And do it consistently.
Document the steps you go through when you work with a client. Walk through each and every thing that you do to be successful. This will help you establish the system that you don’t even know you are using that is making you successful. Then you can teach that system to someone else! That is innovation. There are lots of people in the real estate industry that will say they have the latest greatest way to ______ (fill in the blank) and what happens is that agents spend a shit ton (that’s an actual metric for measuring by the way) of money and time on so many different avenues there is no way that any of them are working together. All of the energy that was spent on each tool is now wasted. Find a SIMPLE system and STICK to it! Don’t over complicate things.


It’s important to look into the future. Knowing where you’re headed in the next six months, 12 months, two years, 10 years. These things have to be kept at the forefront of what you’re doing. It’s hard to navigate and adjust if you don’t keep a constant focus on where you’re headed into the future. Things are going to come up navigating your business, that’s a given however if you don’t know where you’re headed it’s hard to know how much you need to course correct when things do come up and get in the way of where you’re going.
The other reason it is really important for you to know what your vision is, so that you can share that vision with your team and your clients. If your team or your prospective team doesn’t know where you are headed or have an idea of where they fit in your future it might be easy for them to unplug and move on to somewhere they are part of the bigger picture.
It’s important for you to tie the vision back to your life and make sure that you’re keeping in mind each one of the things that we already discussed. How does the Authenticity fit into your plan for your vision? How does Influence and buy in from your team, customers, and vendors fit into your plan and your vision? How does Action and creating a plan fit into your long-term plan and your vision? How does Innovation fit into your long-term plans?
Most businesses Don’t write down their ten year goals…five-year goals… one year goals… and it’s really important to do that. It’s important for you, it’s important for your team, and it’s important to success of your business your life and your happiness.
P. S. If you haven’t joined the Facebook conversation with an amazing group of women just like you who are building a team…. I would love to have you! Join us here!

Empowerment & Authenticity

Empowerment and Authenticity: Loud & Proud

As a leader I wasn’t always authentic and I wasn’t always empowered. I was hiding from who I was and where I had come from. I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. I can remember a time when I would walk into work and not make eye contact with my employees. Not everyday but somedays and it had nothing to do with them.

I didn’t dislike them, and I didn’t intentionally mean to be what they presumed as “bitchy” on occasion.. I just wasn’t sure who I was or how a leader would BE with their people. I hadn’t done any work on myself at this point, read any books on leadership, or have any idea that it was ok to be me.

Do you know who you are? I Didn’t

However I didn’t really know who ME was and looking back it showed. This spilled over into my personal life too. I wasn’t a leader in love, life, or business. I was hiding. I was hiding inside of 100lbs of fat, insecurity, know it all attitude, and an insatiable need to be right.

I can look back knowing that all of the stuff that I was hiding beneath wasn’t intentional. I didn’t mean to railroad people or interrupt them constantly. I was just asleep. I needed to accept myself as I was and begin to investigate what had helped shape me. I clearly had drive, but I was a victim, I had passion but no purpose. Creating an awareness around these things helped me to notice who I was and who I wanted to become.

I started to create the woman I am today.

I was able to stop the behavior that was causing the pain and start with a mindset that would shape the woman I am today. Today I embrace my vulnerability. Today I embrace my attitude and personality… even when it happens to be a little shitty. Today I work hard to stop the voices that ran the show for so long… I am more present than I have ever been, I have more on my plate than I have ever had, and I am ROCKING THAT SHIT!

What does it mean to be empowered? What does it mean to be loud and proud? How can you apply these things to your real estate business right now? As you grow your team the more you work on yourself the more you will attract and retain the people who will love you… AND want to walk over hot coals to the end of the earth and back when you ask them… that is the definition of loyalty. We all want loyal employees, and we have to invest in them in a meaningful way. People are like emotional bank accounts… you cannot make a withdrawal if you have not made enough deposits!
You are no exception to that… you have to be the example. Invest in yourself. Treat yourself with respect. Empower yourself to create the woman and the business that is sooo important to you to create! Start Today!
P. S. Have you joined the conversation in my Free Facebook Group for Female Real Estate Agents just like you? Click the link and come be part of a community of women who are working hard to grow a real estate team of people who are passionate and LOVE what they do just as much as you do!

Sharpen Your Blade!

Join the Facebook Group to get more ideas on how other Female Real Estate Agents are STAYING SHARP!


Why It’s The Best Time to Be A Female Real Estate Agent Building A Team!


Why It’s The Best Time To Be A Female Real Estate Agent Building a Team…

Just as no two women are the same, neither are the empires they build. The journey a woman takes to building a successful empire is never done alone, but with a team of growth minded, transparent, and willing souls.

The empire builder will experience success if she is bold, transparent, and passionate. Her commitment to herself, her team and her dream will carry them through the challenges and ensure she claims the legacy that is hers.

There are more female entrepreneurs building real estate empires now than at any other time in history.

Understanding your unique values and the culture you desire to create within your empire is a key ingredient to finding and hiring the RIGHT people for your team!

Your mindset & willingness to grow into the leader you need to be to build your empire will determine how quickly you can grow and the ability you have to maintain that growth. You cannot do this alone… lock arms with mentors, broker-owners, coaches, and industry leaders to push yourself while keeping new ideas flowing into your business at all times

Recruit members for your team based on CULTURE 1st!! You can train skill… you cannot train personality, morals, or ethics.

NEVER stop sharpening your blade… you must have a learning & growth oriented mindset!

Consistently look at your business strategically and implement systems, policies, and procedures wherever there are opportunities… this practice will allow you to grow faster and look for efficiency, while teaching your team that your  standard is to be as effective as possible.

Give feedback consistently!

Telling them thank you isn’t feedback and it isn’t enough. It’s imperative that you work really hard to watch and make note of opportunities they have to learn and places where they are excelling. For example, if someone is succeeding because they are paying attention to processes and asking great questions it means they are thinking critically and it’s one of the most important skills we can have in an employee in our business. It means they are not afraid of failing and or being told “no” “you’re wrong” or… “why would you do it that way”.

It’s important that you point that out to them… that you noticed they are paying attention to processes and asking great questions!  They may not be able to repeat that behavior over and over again in other situations if they don’t know what they did in the first place. You must point out the things you notice… it’s the only way they are going to get better and better!

The same is true for the things they need to work on. They need to hear it from you… you don’t have to be a jerk about it, but you cannot glaze over it and expect that in a few weeks or months it will get better… that’s just not how it works. They need to have real feedback in real time! They will shift, they won’t be butt hurt, and you will see them make the changes right away! That’s a recipe for longterm success and great leadership! #femalerealestateagentsbuildingateam #evolvewithemily #passion #purpose

Want to connect with our group and open the conversation about your team? Join our Facebook community of other female team builders just like you!




Do your people respect you?

Respect is one of my core values. It doesn’t matter if we are talking about respect from my children, my family, a total stranger, someone I’m dating, or my team. If I am disrespected, or feel that I’m not being respected I will have an emotional response. Before I understood what it meant to be a great leader, it was something I really struggled with because my emotional response often impacted whom ever it was around me. However, now I know that when they violate my core values, most of the time it is because their core values also have been violated. This helps me to remove my judgment and look at the situation a lot more clearly and with a level head.


Respect can mean different things for different people, and for me it’s mostly about attitude.

If you are rude, short, angry, or not present those are all things I would consider part of an attitude. Most of the time when an employee is rude or has attitude it is a response to something they don’t understand that has a direct impact on them. Knowing your part as the leader is imperative to resolving their challenges.

It’s normal and perfectly ok for someone to be upset or frustrated by any number of things… when it presents a problem is when they get into a habit of thinking they can be disrespectful toward you about those things.

Teaching them how to treat you through things that are frustrating is the key to eliminating bad behavior/attitude and keeping the lines of communication open.


When your employees understand your culture and you do whatever you can not to deviate from creating that culture you teach them what works and what doesn’t work. I find that in most cultures employees are not allowed to be honest and be “frustrated”. Leaders within organizations do not understand how to create a space where they can be open and honest with their team and vice versa without violating core values. This is a trust and communication challenge. Emotional intelligence is the key to understanding and alleviating those challenges.

Do you respect yourself?

The more self-awareness you have the greater your understanding of other people and your emotional intelligence will develop. Your team is a reflection of you… if you don’t respect yourself your team will have little respect for you. If you don’t know what your core values are… you will have a hard time knowing when they have been violated and go into a space of being a victim very very easily. Do you have a plan in place to work on yourself? How are you growing? Join me on my monthly leadership discussion to identify this and many other challenges that leaders just like you face.